Free

Comment 1 Standard

I want to feel free.

I want to wake up everyday feeling refreshed, knowing that how I spend my day is completely up to me.

No 9-5, no shift work, no outside obligations but the ones I choose to take on because they excite my heart.

I don’t want a boss.

No one to tell me what to do, when and how to do it.

I want to feel like I’m actually creating my own life, instead of being told when I’m allowed to live it.

Some may say it’s a pipe dream, unachievable, impossible within the confines of modern society.

But most things that exist by human creation were once thought to be impossible.

So here I sit, continuously searching for an answer. A solution. A way in, instead of a way out.

Brick by brick, step by step, I create something I hope to be proud of someday.

I hope to be free.

Everything Is Different

Leave a comment Standard

On a day like today, I wonder about you.

Are you celebrating?

Or is it just another day droning on, the same one you have been reliving for years now.

Do you miss us?

Do you miss me?

Do you even truly know the reasons behind the things you do?

I don’t think you realize when you are hurting someone.

Your own misery consumes you, and everything else falls by the wayside.

You think we will still be here in the end, waiting.

Pretending like nothing is different.

But we won’t.

Everything is different.

We are reaching for the sky, while you are still slogging through the mud.

We can only help so much before our efforts become useless.

Before the olive branch becomes a burden.

Before we realize we are worth more than this.

We are worth more than second best.

We are worth more than the silence.

You call us family, but those words are empty because family sticks together.

Everything is different now.

And maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Stronger Together

Leave a comment Standard

“We’re doing well during this hard time, we want to help you out. We believe in what you’re doing, despite all of those who doubt.”

These words were unexpected, guilt momentarily gripped our hearts.

We never expect a handout, though this is ripping us apart.

But with a tear in your eye, a humble smile on your face, you thanked them for this kind gesture.

A renewed sense of faith to get through this mess, thanks to the kindness of relative strangers.

We see these things in movies, but never think it will happen to us.

But good things come when we stand up for ourselves, even when the fallout is rough.

We keep pushing forward and fighting the man, who keeps kicking us when we are down.

But we won’t be defeated or fading away with community around.

We’re stronger together and they can’t keep us apart, no matter how hard they try.

We’ll walk through the flames and come out unscathed, always side by side.

Everyday

Leave a comment Standard

Everyday I show up.

I show up even when I don’t want to, because I believe in you.

Everyday I try to stay strong.

I grit my teeth and push through with a smile, and try to convince you it will all be worth while.

Everyday I put my feelings aside.

I walk through the door and leave my baggage at home, but sometimes it’s impossible to hide.

Everyday I talk you off the ledge.

I calm you down when you’re upset, and I pick up the pieces of the mess.

Everyday I give you hope.

I do my best to teach you new things, and encourage you to help your strengths grow.

Everyday I show you the way.

I teach you about kindness and responsibility, and hope that when you leave, these lessons stay.

Everyday I carry the burden.

I carry the weight of your problems around in my heart, and try to ease the hurting.

Everyday I pave the way.

I blaze a trail for you to follow, knowing the choice is yours at the end of the day.

Everyday I feel pride.

The days can be hard and the nights often long, but I’ve found my place in this passion of mine.

Everyday I have purpose.

I know in my heart I’m where I should be, despite the toll it sometimes takes on me.

What’s It All For?

Leave a comment Standard

Everyday I wake up and ask myself, “what’s it all for?”

Isn’t that what we all want to know?

My youth left me mystified, fearing I would never know the truth.

Trying times dragged on and on, leaving a trail of angst and desperation behind.

Eventually I learned that trying times are not forever, though, and sometimes beauty is found where we least expect it.

The smallest things, often overlooked, can be what keeps us together when it’s so easy to fall apart.

A quiet morning by yourself before the rest of the world is awake.

The moment your head hits the pillow after a long day.

A hug from Mom and Dad.

A Sunday drive, the freedom of the open road stretched out before you.

That one song that takes you back to that exact time and place.

These remind us of what it’s like to be human.

What it’s like to love and lose, to excite and to fear, to treasure and to tarnish.

We spend our lives searching, constantly feeling like we are missing something that everyone else must have figured out already.

But we fail to see that we are all on the edge of the same cliff, reaching for the same hands to pull us back up.

So what’s it all for?

For us to be the hands at the top of the cliff, helping to bring others up with us.

Stronger Than Before

Leave a comment Standard

When I was younger, I never imagined myself where I am now.

Now, I can’t imagine my life being anything else.

It started out as a little boy’s dream.

It turned into a families’ everything.

Passion, livelihood, dream come true.

Long days, endless nights, consistently fighting to get the upper hand.

To get ahead.

Calm, then crisis, then calm again. Rinse and repeat.

We’ve been close to the edge before, but never this close.

We’ve been left out to blow in the wind, but never for this long.

The longer this goes, the tighter we hold onto each other, and the scarier the fall is.

So we fight.

We fight for our family, our home, for everyone like us who just wants to feel safe again.

So let them throw their words at us from behind a screen.

Let them pretend like they know anything about us.

In the end, it’s about freedom.

Let us be free, and we will show you why the fight is worth it.

We will prove to you our purpose, and come out of the fire stronger than before.

25

Leave a comment Standard

I’m just 25 and I know I’m so young, but I feel like I’ve lived 100 years.

Put in a box just like everyone else, but I keep saying fuck all the fears.

I know you don’t get it and I try to explain, but I just keep repeating myself.

Until I’m blue in the face at the end of the day,

because we both know there’s no other way.

So next time you tell me it’s this or it’s that,

and the world is just black or it’s white,

I’ll paint it all blue, green and purple too,

just to show you I’ve always been right.

I’ve always been one to go my own way, to build walls against tides rushing in.

But sometimes it hurts to peek over the fence and get burned by the sun shining in.

It’s beauty in the sky and keep us alive,

but it hurts if you stay just too long.

So I stay on my side with my walls built so high,

because I don’t trust those who casually stop by.

I’m just 25 and I shouldn’t say this because I should be young and carefree,

but with the scars on my heart and the thoughts in my head,

I find it hard to be me.