As people, I think we build things up in our heads because we like to be excited and have things to look forward to. But then when those things happen, we often find ourselves disappointed that it didn’t live up to the fairy tale we created it as in our minds. This robs us of our ability to appreciate everyday life. Everyday life then seems dull and boring compared to how we see things in our heads.
For example, I’ve spent my entire childhood dreaming of the perfect man and what the perfect relationship would be like. I’ve never let myself voice these thoughts to anyone because I never thought they would come true. I knew that I wouldn’t let myself deal with anything less than this perfect image I had in my mind, even if that meant I was alone for a long time until I had it.
I feel blessed enough to be able to say that I found the perfect man for me. Our relationship isn’t perfect, but I love him and love having him as my partner throughout life. But as much as I love him, real lief is not a fairy tale. Real life is monotonous, sometimes messy, often complicated, and is far from the fairy tale created in my head. As much love as there is between us, there will always be complications, there will always be stresses, and there will always be monotony because that’s just how life is
So instead of being disappointed with the fact that I can’t live the rest of my life in a state of constant head-over-heels-in-love, I need to focus on soaking in those moments of seemingly regular life that I would normally overlook. Waking up next to him on a lazy Sunday morning. Coming home after work and telling him a crazy story about my day. Playing a song on my guitar and looking up to see him looking at me with the most amazing look of love and pride in his eyes. Going on a weekend trip together. Loving his family as much as I love my own. This is what real intimacy is. This is what love is. This is what a good life is. I have it, and I will spend the rest of my life being thankful for this normal, stable, wonderful love that I have. He is my rock and my safe place. I don’t need that “perfect” fairy tale anymore because I found him, and he is better than any fairy tale I could ever come up with.