Breaking the Cycle

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I can feel the weight of the day sitting right behind my eyelids.

As if this wasn’t enough, it brings me right back to when we were kids.

I look at her face, and I can see the hatred in your eyes.

I bet you still don’t know that you were my demise.

I bet you go about your days and you don’t think of me for a second.

But I’m still learning to let go of the messes.

I’m still learning how to catch the rope so I don’t fall.

But you probably don’t think of me at all.

I see her pain, and I wonder if that was you.

I wonder if you hurt me because someone hurt you, too.

Now I have to work at stopping the cycle you created.

Even though you deny that you made it.

Now I carry responsibilities around with me like a gun in my back pocket.

I need them to feel safe, but the weight makes me fear that I might drop it.

And if I drop it, I’m not the only one who gets hurt anymore.

If I fall, I carry a dozen with me out the door.

So at night when I pray, it’s not just for me and you.

I pray for the strength to get them through this, too.

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