What’s It All For?

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Everyday I wake up and ask myself, “what’s it all for?”

Isn’t that what we all want to know?

My youth left me mystified, fearing I would never know the truth.

Trying times dragged on and on, leaving a trail of angst and desperation behind.

Eventually I learned that trying times are not forever, though, and sometimes beauty is found where we least expect it.

The smallest things, often overlooked, can be what keeps us together when it’s so easy to fall apart.

A quiet morning by yourself before the rest of the world is awake.

The moment your head hits the pillow after a long day.

A hug from Mom and Dad.

A Sunday drive, the freedom of the open road stretched out before you.

That one song that takes you back to that exact time and place.

These remind us of what it’s like to be human.

What it’s like to love and lose, to excite and to fear, to treasure and to tarnish.

We spend our lives searching, constantly feeling like we are missing something that everyone else must have figured out already.

But we fail to see that we are all on the edge of the same cliff, reaching for the same hands to pull us back up.

So what’s it all for?

For us to be the hands at the top of the cliff, helping to bring others up with us.

Stronger Than Before

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When I was younger, I never imagined myself where I am now.

Now, I can’t imagine my life being anything else.

It started out as a little boy’s dream.

It turned into a families’ everything.

Passion, livelihood, dream come true.

Long days, endless nights, consistently fighting to get the upper hand.

To get ahead.

Calm, then crisis, then calm again. Rinse and repeat.

We’ve been close to the edge before, but never this close.

We’ve been left out to blow in the wind, but never for this long.

The longer this goes, the tighter we hold onto each other, and the scarier the fall is.

So we fight.

We fight for our family, our home, for everyone like us who just wants to feel safe again.

So let them throw their words at us from behind a screen.

Let them pretend like they know anything about us.

In the end, it’s about freedom.

Let us be free, and we will show you why the fight is worth it.

We will prove to you our purpose, and come out of the fire stronger than before.

25

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I’m just 25 and I know I’m so young, but I feel like I’ve lived 100 years.

Put in a box just like everyone else, but I keep saying fuck all the fears.

I know you don’t get it and I try to explain, but I just keep repeating myself.

Until I’m blue in the face at the end of the day,

because we both know there’s no other way.

So next time you tell me it’s this or it’s that,

and the world is just black or it’s white,

I’ll paint it all blue, green and purple too,

just to show you I’ve always been right.

I’ve always been one to go my own way, to build walls against tides rushing in.

But sometimes it hurts to peek over the fence and get burned by the sun shining in.

It’s beauty in the sky and keep us alive,

but it hurts if you stay just too long.

So I stay on my side with my walls built so high,

because I don’t trust those who casually stop by.

I’m just 25 and I shouldn’t say this because I should be young and carefree,

but with the scars on my heart and the thoughts in my head,

I find it hard to be me.

Hold

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The sun shines, but it’s glow casts a deceiving view of the world.

People are scared.

Real answers are rare, true freedom feels false, the unknowns lurking behind every corner.

No one knows how many casualties, lost souls, and broken hearts will remain once the dust settles.

But we do know who will rise to the top and who will fall, because this is all a game.

It’s a game with pre-chosen winners, with no one to warn those who will get lost among the shadows.

The winners have been decided and they get to make the choices.

They tell us what to do, how to do it, and then try to convince us it’s for our own good.

They make us think we need them, and then pull the rug out from underneath our feet.

They make us believe they are good, while they slowly line their pockets on the backs of our hard work.

So here we are now, hanging on by a thread.

Facing our biggest fears.

Trying to pull together so we don’t come apart.

One wrong move and we are all exposed,

vulnerable,

trying to piece together a solution to a problem we don’t understand.

Because what we fear can make us grow,

freeze,

or fade.

We are walking on a tightrope, and no one knows if the net will hold.

So hold on, hold dear, hold steady,

and breathe.

Enough

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I finally let my guard down, and everything falls apart.

I think I’m where I’m meant to be, but then doubt rips through my heart.

Balancing the weight feels like a bomb or a grenade.

One tiny misstep and I ruin everything I’ve made.

Sometimes I feel lucky to do what’s in my heart.

But other days I wonder if this is just the start.

Will I always feel so insecure, like I am two feet small?

Does it get easy as time goes by, am I made for this at all?

I felt so sure right from the start, but doubt’s been creeping in.

And I’ve never been one for giving up,

I don’t want them to win.

They win if I quit without giving my all,

but that means finally tearing down the walls.

What if, without them, I can’t handle the fight?

What if it makes me not sleep at night?

If I’m not meant to be here, if I don’t make the cut,

I’m not sure I’ll find a place that ever makes me feel like I’m enough.