Be Careful What You Wish For

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Sometimes it’s easier to pretend everything is perfect, than to admit things didn’t turn out how you’d wished.

At the time, you didn’t understand the phrase “be careful what you wish for”, but now you do.

You know it all too well.

You understand that something you wanted so badly got poisoned so quickly.

But you couldn’t stop it from happening.

You couldn’t stop them from poisoning the well, from throwing words carelessly like daggers, from making it so personal that it took your breath away.

You couldn’t help feeling like a dream was being stolen from you, all your hard work suddenly for nothing.

But there’s a secret spot, buried deep in your heart, that no one can touch.

And it saves you.

A spot that’s guarded,

chained,

fortified.

A spot they can’t touch anymore, and it saves you.

It saves the dream you worked so hard for.

It saves you from going back to that place, because they can’t see the light that shines in you.

They can’t see how hard you worked for this.

They can’t see the difference you make because it’s hard to choose to see things from a different perspective.

But that’s okay because even when a star dies, it’s light is still seen for a long time to come.

For The Children

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They speak of self-care, but they do not see

the faces of those who will forever haunt me.

The cute little boy, who when he gets mad,

he threatens to kill because of his dad.

Because dad beat up mom when he was on drugs,

and now this little boy does not know how to love.

I think of the boy who lives with his mom,

because one day he woke up and his dad was just gone.

Now this little boy does not know how to trust

because the man in his life chose to give up.

These kids do not know, they did not get to choose,

the homes they grow up in, how much they will lose.

It’s left up to us to help these kids grow strong,

with our limited budgets and wait lists so long.

But we continue to fight because in our hearts we know,

these children are worth it, and love always grows.

A New Beginning

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This whole time I didn’t know that all I needed was a new beginning.

A place where no one knows me,

A place to lift the weight off of my knees.

I didn’t know how to move on and maybe I still don’t,

but at least now I know there is a world outside of what I was shown.

There is a place that makes me feel like some of the puzzle pieces are starting to come together.

A place where I can explore, dream, and discover.

I hope you understand it’s not personal.

I just can’t be in the place where I watched our castle fall.

I can’t stand the memories of what I’ll never get back.

I couldn’t sit back and watch the train run off the tracks.

I’m not running away, though.

I’m learning that sometimes it’s okay to let go.

It’s okay to find happiness again.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t miss my best friend.

It means that I love myself enough to know that this is not the end.

Now I know that it’s a new beginning.