Breaking the Cycle

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I can feel the weight of the day sitting right behind my eyelids.

As if this wasn’t enough, it brings me right back to when we were kids.

I look at her face, and I can see the hatred in your eyes.

I bet you still don’t know that you were my demise.

I bet you go about your days and you don’t think of me for a second.

But I’m still learning to let go of the messes.

I’m still learning how to catch the rope so I don’t fall.

But you probably don’t think of me at all.

I see her pain, and I wonder if that was you.

I wonder if you hurt me because someone hurt you, too.

Now I have to work at stopping the cycle you created.

Even though you deny that you made it.

Now I carry responsibilities around with me like a gun in my back pocket.

I need them to feel safe, but the weight makes me fear that I might drop it.

And if I drop it, I’m not the only one who gets hurt anymore.

If I fall, I carry a dozen with me out the door.

So at night when I pray, it’s not just for me and you.

I pray for the strength to get them through this, too.

For The Children

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They speak of self-care, but they do not see

the faces of those who will forever haunt me.

The cute little boy, who when he gets mad,

he threatens to kill because of his dad.

Because dad beat up mom when he was on drugs,

and now this little boy does not know how to love.

I think of the boy who lives with his mom,

because one day he woke up and his dad was just gone.

Now this little boy does not know how to trust

because the man in his life chose to give up.

These kids do not know, they did not get to choose,

the homes they grow up in, how much they will lose.

It’s left up to us to help these kids grow strong,

with our limited budgets and wait lists so long.

But we continue to fight because in our hearts we know,

these children are worth it, and love always grows.